One of my favourite sounds is the rhythmic breath-lullaby of the ocean tide. I find it so soothing. It helps me to reset and regain perspective. I also love the quiet peace of the forest and listening out for the pure sounds of the natural world.
Spotify reminded me that I am a great listener!
This was the message I woke up to this morning from ‘Your 2023 Wrapped!’
It’s that time of year when algorithms are crunched and Spotify churns out patterns of our engagement with their app. It seems that I have listened to over 30,000 minutes of music this year and over 7,500 minutes of podcasts. I haven’t cross-checked this but according to Spotify, my music listening alone totals the equivalent of 21 days non-stop! I am an avid audiobook listener too – which may amount to another month’s worth of my time.
It’s actually quite interesting to reflect on my song favourites each month and I can match them with what I was going through physically and emotionally in those moments. Music truly can be a balm to the soul – it has helped lift, comfort, bolster and reassure me in times of distress and crisis this year. What a gift!
I think I’m a good listener when it comes to social interaction, even though that’s still somewhat limited at the moment. In my previous vocation this was an essential part of being effective as a physician. I have always enjoyed listening to people. I listen intently, visually too. The timbre and prosody of a person’s voice speaks volumes, telling much about a person’s inner world, even aside from speech content. Visual cues add an extra richness to the mix.
As a patient who has bounced in and out of hospital for much of the this year, I have also experienced the value of being listened to – of being truly seen, heard and understood, and it makes all the difference. It imparts a sense of safety, dignity and connection – all these things are essential to a person’s well-being. I have noticed that the art of listening – though not a talent possessed by all – is one of the most important skills and gifts that clinical staff can offer. It takes a bit of time and patience but the benefits are immense in terms of therapeutic engagement, trust and some sense of personal agency and collaboration in the clinical process.
I am also learning to listen to my own body. This has been a necessary skill to cultivate and one that is relatively new to me, having driven my body mercilessly hard over many years. Did you know that 80% of the fibres of the vagus nerve, the longest nerve of the body, give information FROM the body to the brain, and the other 20% from brain to body? The body speaks to us and our bodily feedback loop is there for a reason. It is so important to heed its promptings. This listening skill requires slowing down and giving time to just ‘be’. The body has a language of its own which can be subtle, complex and delicate but gets louder and more dominating if it’s ignored. It can then cause imbalance and eventually upheaval in our whole system. I know from my own experience, especially dealing with daily chronic pain and fatigue.
These past years, I’ve had to develop huge patience in letting go of all kinds of things including my once natural tendency to always be busy, social and active. It has not been easy to get comfortable with the art of doing nothing much and accepting the state of just ‘being’. Our identity and sometimes even our sense of self-worth is wrapped up so much in what we do. So it has been a painful process but, as with many trials, there have been gains too. I have had time, rather than time having me! Time to listen. To live unhurried. Time to become a little more fluent in reading my body’s signals – tending and gently befriending my system in ways that it deserves, allowing it the expression it needs.
And so to finish, I think one of the best offerings we can give one another, and even ourselves is this ; to say ‘I’m listening.’
True listening is an expression of unconditional love that reaches into the depths of us as humans.
It asks us to pause, to open and to be quiet.
It connects, nurtures and sustains body, mind, heart and soul.
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Everythingistickityboo 
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